


How to Get Yourself a Husband Overnight: A Guide by Katsuki Yuuri

by blamethehero



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Human Katsuki Yuuri, Long-Haired Victor Nikiforov, M/M, Meet-Cute, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Oblivious Katsuki Yuuri, Phichit types like a drunk millenial, Selkie Victor Nikiforov, Skater Katsuki Yuuri, Smitten Victor Nikiforov, The tags are a mess and idk how to fix them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:55:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24552733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blamethehero/pseuds/blamethehero
Summary: "What do you mean youaccidentallymarried the guy?!""Look, I was just trying to be polite! I didn't expect him to barge into my room with an engagement ring!"
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Phichit Chulanont & Katsuki Yuuri
Comments: 43
Kudos: 364





	How to Get Yourself a Husband Overnight: A Guide by Katsuki Yuuri

**Author's Note:**

> ###### Selkie: In Scottish mythology, selkies or selkie folk meaning "seal folk" are mythological beings capable of therianthropy, changing from seal to human form by shedding their skin. (Wikipedia) 
> 
> This was originally a prompt that I saw from howtobangyourmonster on tumblr (if I'm correct), and I immediately thought that Victor and Yuuri would be PERFECT for the roles.
> 
> And I apologize in advance if this has been done before (which hopefully hasn't been) owo
> 
> Feel free to leave kudos and write down comments!~♡
> 
> _(Please don't copy/reupload to another site)_

Yuuri loves his hometown. He adores the quiet seaside, the well-mannered people and creatures, and enjoys working in his family's inn during off-seasons.

His parents and Mari normally took charge of interacting with the guests while he was stuck with cleaning rooms and helping in the kitchen, given his lack of social skills.

Which is such a shame considering his face alone would be enough to attract more guests, is what Phichit told him once. But Yuuri being Yuuri believes otherwise: his awkwardness would only drive them away, humans and mythical creatures alike.

Occasionally, when Mari or his parents come down with a sickness, he is forced to come out of his shell and aid their clients, albeit looking like a scared chihuahua while doing so.

Today was one of those days, and he does _not_ love it. Not one bit.

But he's not one to force his sick sibling to go to work either, so he begrudgingly carries out the task, his only saving grace being the unusually low number of customers due to the weather.

He was serving dinner to their patrons when a particular foreigner catches his eye. The man had long platinum hair, crystalline blue eyes, and undeniably handsome features. Yuuri would've thought that he was a beautiful siren if it weren't for those muscular legs that stretched on for days. (He silently wishes tight jeans would do him justice like that too.)

He looks down and notices a piece of clothing that seemed to have fallen down from the man's chair. Being the polite little bean that he is, he picks it up and carefully drapes it back on the furniture, "You dropped your coat," he smiles softly.

The man says nothing, his bright blue eyes staring at him dumbfounded and somewhat dazed. _And good heavens does he look even more attractive up close._

Yuuri internally panics, has he offended the man somehow? Did he accidentally stain the coat with his dirty hands? Was it too expensive for him to even touch?

"Uh s-sorry, have a good evening!" He stumbles, bowing slightly before scrambling away. He didn't even have to look into a mirror to see how flushed his face was.

As he continues to serve the rest of the guests, he could feel eyes piercing through him, observing his every move and stripping him bare. He knew where it came from, but he refused to meet those eyes.

Once every table was occupied with plates of his mother's heavenly cooking, he hurries back to the kitchen, "Mom, I'm going out to skate. I'll be back after a while."

Hiroko turns to him with a kind smile, "Don't tire yourself too much, dear. If you meet Yuuko or Takeshi, tell them I said 'hi'!"

"Will do!" He dashes for his room and changes into his athletic attire in record time. He grabs his skating bag and earphones and begins his journey towards the Ice Castle.

Neither Yuuko or Takeshi were there, so he resorts to using the key they gave him as a means to get into the rink.

Even if it was off-season, it didn't hurt to practice his routines. But more than that, he always found solitude and tranquility in skating, and he needed to clear his head from the embarrassing incident with the inhumanly alluring foreigner from earlier. (Emphasis on the inhuman part)

He takes the time to properly warm up before skating rounds around the rink, he knows better than to injure himself before the competition even starts. He eventually presses 'play' on his phone and progresses from simple figures to complicated step-sequences and occasional jumps.

Yuuri skates and skates, freeing his never-empty mind and allowing his body to move on its own, totally consumed by the music.

All while completely oblivious to the eyes watching him from afar, completely bewitched by his dancing─blissfully unaware that he just got himself a gorgeous and utterly smitten selkie husband.

* * *

The next day went by smoothly, although a bit disappointing when the foreigner from yesterday was nowhere to be seen. Even though Yuuri knew he should be relieved, he felt a little empty at the realization that the man had already left without even knowing his name.

He busied himself with his phone during the late afternoon when there was nothing left to do, opting to chat with his best friend instead of moping around...only to mope again during their exchange.

**ʟɪʟ ᴘᴇᴀᴄʜ** : dude no way how hot is he?

**ᴋᴀᴛsᴜᴅᴀᴍɴ** : hotter than the pan you burnt while trying to make fries

**ᴋᴀᴛsᴜᴅᴀᴍɴ** : seriously I turn away for one second and the entire kitchen's burning down

**ʟɪʟ ᴘᴇᴀᴄʜ** : wow rood???

**ʟɪʟ ᴘᴇᴀᴄʜ** : but srsly tho, gimmie a rating

**ᴋᴀᴛsᴜᴅᴀᴍɴ** : I'd rate him a 100/10, mans is pure fire

**ʟɪʟ ᴘᴇᴀᴄʜ** : ahaaa the thirst

**ʟɪʟ ᴘᴇᴀᴄʜ** : mama phichit is proud

**ᴋᴀᴛsᴜᴅᴀᴍɴ** : whoops accidentally pressed 0 twice

**ʟɪʟ ᴘᴇᴀᴄʜ** : don't even lie to me hunny

**ᴋᴀᴛsᴜᴅᴀᴍɴ** : ok you got me there

**ᴋᴀᴛsᴜᴅᴀᴍɴ** : but...

**ʟɪʟ ᴘᴇᴀᴄʜ** : oh no

**ᴋᴀᴛsᴜᴅᴀᴍɴ** : he left the inn before I could ask his name :((

**ʟɪʟ ᴘᴇᴀᴄʜ** : *gasp* nooooo! what a Shakespearean tragedy!

**ʟɪʟ ᴘᴇᴀᴄʜ** : alexa, play despacito

**ᴋᴀᴛsᴜᴅᴀᴍɴ** : it's not like I could've approached him anyway

**ᴋᴀᴛsᴜᴅᴀᴍɴ** : the only time I talked to him was when I picked up his coat from the floor, but even then he just looked at me like o_O

**ʟɪʟ ᴘᴇᴀᴄʜ** : HAHAHAH

**ʟɪʟ ᴘᴇᴀᴄʜ** : cheer up u dummy, he was prolly too stunned by ur pretty face

**ʟɪʟ ᴘᴇᴀᴄʜ** : or ur pretty lil badunkadunk 

Yuuri snorted, Phichit never fails to brighten up the mood no matter how much of a little shit he can be. He was about to type out a response when a sudden knock on his door interrupts their conversation. 

**ᴋᴀᴛsᴜᴅᴀᴍɴ** : Hold on, i think mom's calling me

"Coming!" He hollers, walking towards the door and swinging it wide open, expecting to see his mother asking him to help with the food.

Shining cerulean eyes greet him instead.

"Um..." he freezes, suddenly aware that his hair resembled a bird's nest and his shirt was disheveled from turning and tossing around, he must've looked like a complete mess and an idiot, "I-I think you got the wrong room?"

"Oh no, I got it completely right! You're Yuuri, yes?" The man cheerfully replies, looking at him completely besotted.

Yuuri blinks, it was probably the trick of the light, "That's me. Sorry wh...who are you?"

The taller man moves closer, slightly bending down until their faces were only inches apart, "My name is Victor Nikiforov," he smiles brightly, taking out a small velvet box from his pockets, "I got this for you, I hope you like it!"

"Ahh, thank you?" The box was pushed into Yuuri's hands. He was as surprised as he was confused, but his parents taught him to gratefully accept gifts from others, so he does. Victor eagerly waits for his reaction, his smile wider than ~~his forehead~~ the Pacific Ocean itself.

His fingers fumbled to open the gift, and his eyes meet an opulent golden ring with half a snowflake engraved onto it. Yuuri feels his brain short-circuit, his own tongue failing to form a coherent sentence.

"I─this...is this an engagement ring?"

Victor suddenly looks bashful, an adorable shade of red adorning his sculpted face, "Well, I thought that...maybe you'd like to get married by human customs as well?"

_What._

_What the fuck._

"E-excuse me?!"

"Last night you took my seal coat and essentially wedded me as your husband," he smiles, cupping Yuuri's face with a delicate hand, "And you were so kind and beautiful that I thought I should propose to you too! I even asked your mother and father for their blessings, and they were more than happy to accept!"

_Oh._ Yuuri finally realizes what he had done and stares at the long haired creature with his mouth agape. _The coat was not a coat, and this man is not a man...that means,_ "I'm married to a selkie? But I'm...human? This is a misunderstanding─"

"No need to worry, I'm sure you'll make a great wife! We can have as many children as you wish, and we could live here in this beautiful human palace!" Victor pulls him in by the waist, giving his lips a ghost of a kiss. Yuuri's too shocked to even bother flinching away.

His knees start to buckle, Victor's lips were unbelievably soft, the grip around his waist was gentle, and this man was his _husband_ : a fact that was dumped to him like it was nothing.

Victor held onto him tighter and frowned when he noticed Yuuri's knees giving in under him, "You must be tired from working all day! You should lay down, I'll talk to your parents."

"Wait─" before he could object, strong arms swooped him up and he was carried bridal style. Victor gently placed him back into his bed and carefully drapes a blanket down on him, looking at him with so much adoration dripping from his eyes that it was almost comical.

"Rest well, my love. I'll be back soon, I promise," the selkie pushes back strands of his hair and presses another kiss on the crown of his head and heads back to the door.

Yuuri watches him walk out of the room, and immediately snaps back to life, like he had just been cured of a stupefying spell. "No way..." he whispers, feeling his heart beat a hundred times faster, "No fucking way."

He scrambles for his phone and clicks on Phichit's chat box.

**ᴋᴀᴛsᴜᴅᴀᴍɴ** : Phich

**ᴋᴀᴛsᴜᴅᴀᴍɴ** : Phichit

**ᴋᴀᴛsᴜᴅᴀᴍɴ** : PHICHIIIIIIIT

**ʟɪʟ ᴘᴇᴀᴄʜ** : omg wat

**ᴋᴀᴛsᴜᴅᴀᴍɴ** : I'm married to mr. 100/10 now???

**ʟɪʟ ᴘᴇᴀᴄʜ** : oh congrats bb <3

**ʟɪʟ ᴘᴇᴀᴄʜ** : wait...

**ʟɪʟ ᴘᴇᴀᴄʜ** : EXPLAIN

**ᴋᴀᴛsᴜᴅᴀᴍɴ** : first of all, it was an accident

**ʟɪʟ ᴘᴇᴀᴄʜ** : wht do u mean u _accidentally_ married the guy?!

**ᴋᴀᴛsᴜᴅᴀᴍɴ** : look, I was just trying to be polite! I didn't expect him to barge into my room with an engagement ring!

**ʟɪʟ ᴘᴇᴀᴄʜ** : wait wat

**ᴋᴀᴛsᴜᴅᴀᴍɴ** : oh right... i guess I left out the part where he was a selkie 

**ᴋᴀᴛsᴜᴅᴀᴍɴ** : because I just found out too asdshjdgskl

**ᴋᴀᴛsᴜᴅᴀᴍɴ** : so when I picked up his "coat" last night I was basically marrying him in _their_ culture 

**ʟɪʟ ᴘᴇᴀᴄʜ** : u m m 

**ᴋᴀᴛsᴜᴅᴀᴍɴ** : but in my defense I had no idea it wasn't just a gucci coat and he wasn't just a rich foreigner or smth 

**ᴋᴀᴛsᴜᴅᴀᴍɴ** : so he proposed to me so we can get, and I quote, "married by human customs as well" 

**ᴋᴀᴛsᴜᴅᴀᴍɴ** : oh and his name is Victor by the way 

**ʟɪʟ ᴘᴇᴀᴄʜ** : no way...deadass? 

**ᴋᴀᴛsᴜᴅᴀᴍɴ** : I deadass wish I was joking 

**ʟɪʟ ᴘᴇᴀᴄʜ** : omg omg omg 

**ʟɪʟ ᴘᴇᴀᴄʜ** : I can imagine the media already 

**ʟɪʟ ᴘᴇᴀᴄʜ** : "Yuuri Katsuki, Japan's ace and 5-time GPF gold medalist, is now married to a selkie because no human is pretty enough for him" 

**ᴋᴀᴛsᴜᴅᴀᴍɴ** : dude...stop 

**ʟɪʟ ᴘᴇᴀᴄʜ** : hold on what's he like??? describe himmm 

**ᴋᴀᴛsᴜᴅᴀᴍɴ** : (sigh) 

**ᴋᴀᴛsᴜᴅᴀᴍɴ** : tall, thunder thighs mcgee, pretty blue eyes, long af platinum hair, and from what I can tell, strong af and incredibly doting 

**ᴋᴀᴛsᴜᴅᴀᴍɴ** : he picked me up like I was paper and tucked me in bed like I was a baby 

**ʟɪʟ ᴘᴇᴀᴄʜ** : ok but that's so sweet and he's def ur type :(( 

**ʟɪʟ ᴘᴇᴀᴄʜ** : brooo imagine ur little babies! 

**ʟɪʟ ᴘᴇᴀᴄʜ** : I can already tell that ur the bottom in the relationship 

**ʟɪʟ ᴘᴇᴀᴄʜ** : u hav big booty energee and u can't deny it

**ᴋᴀᴛsᴜᴅᴀᴍɴ** : woah woah hol up 

**ᴋᴀᴛsᴜᴅᴀᴍɴ** : me? a bottom? pffft hah 

**ʟɪʟ ᴘᴇᴀᴄʜ** : *raises a perfectly plucked brow* 

**ᴋᴀᴛsᴜᴅᴀᴍɴ** : ...ok he may or may not have called me his wife though 

**ʟɪʟ ᴘᴇᴀᴄʜ** : I CALLED IT 

**ʙᴏɴᴜs**

The skater playfully rolls his eyes and puts down his phone, his head still buzzing with the absurdity of it all.

 _This is just a dream, yes that's right! This is all just a weird dream. I should just sleep it off and─_ Yuuri shifts his position and feels the small box brush against his hand, his breath hitches. It's real and it's there.

He cradles the velvet box and opens it ever so slowly, taking out the ring and marveling at its design. He twirls the jewelry around before damning it all and finally wearing it.

It fits perfectly around his finger, and he couldn't help but chuckle at it.

His mind lingers back at the selkie, Victor has been nothing but sweet so far, if not a little clingy, and considerate enough to ask for his parent's blessings despite Yuuri not knowing.

Yuuri stares at the golden band adorning his digit, his eyes drooping with every second that passes. _Maybe it won't be so bad after all,_ he hopes, slowly dozing off.

"Yuuri?" The door creaks open moments later, a man with long silver hair stepping in quietly. After a few seconds of silence, Victor walks towards the side of his beloved's bed.

"Yuu─ahh, he fell asleep," he smiles, running gentle fingers through soft black hair. Something glistens in the corner of his eyes and he turns to its direction.

Victor immediately swoons. Yuuri, _his_ lovely Yuuri, was wearing the ring. He was nervous at first, thinking he might have come onto the human a little too strongly, but the beautiful sight before him says otherwise and he can't be happier.

"How lucky am I to have a spouse as captivating and softhearted as you?" Victor whispers in wonder, his voice laced with love, "I must've saved a nation in my past life."

Yuuri, still half-awake, tries not to have a heart attack.

**Author's Note:**

> Let's pretend I completely didn't gloss over the fact that humans and mythical creatures live in harmony lolol, it comes with the au trust me ( ꈍᴗꈍ )
> 
> ( **edit:** I added a bonus ending because I felt like I ended it too abruptly whoops, enjoy)
> 
> (might turn out to be a series, suggestions are always welcome too~)
> 
> Thanks for reading ♡


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